thekidsfrom-prettyodd

naturalmomma:

Why are guys so obsessed with their dicks? We’ll be like “Mothers have the right to breastfeed their baby in public!” And without fail, dudes chime in with, “Does that mean I can pull my dick out in public? Can I urinate in public?” Chill the fuck out. This isn’t about your dick. You are already allowed to have your nipples out in public, sit the fuck down.

iouspn

jesliey:

homosaurus-rex:

homosaurus-rex:

It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.

can we talk about how this is still getting notes

The funny thing is that i can not actually come up with a counter argument for this.

iouspn

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

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  • start a boy band:

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  • spot some choice booty:

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  • break into song:

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  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

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  • attend a metal show:

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  • listen to some sick jams:

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  • discover zombieism:

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  • sample some tasty snacks:

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  • watch someone get burned bad:

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  • find something you really like:

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  • find something you really, really like:

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  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

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  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

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agentrodgers

back-that-sass-up:

spyduck:

rupindah:

i’m all for boys wearing makeup mostly because if more of them got into it there’d be a bigger market and it wouldn’t cost $25 for an eyeshadow primer anymore

i can’t wait to go into the makeup aisle to get the latest man-color of guyshadow that comes in containers shaped like bullets and footballs

"Bruh I just went to sephora and got the sickest shade of eyeshadow"
"Sick dude what’s it called"
"Monster truck gas fumes"
"Niiiiiiiice"